I give up.
We all have that kind of feeling when we are too stressed in our life and can’t think of anything but giving up..
At my early age, I also have those struggles in life. Like , “Am I worthy to live?” , “If I’m worthy then why don’t they understand me?!”
This word definitely fits the youth today. Though,they overthink very deeply and so negative about themselves that can be some times results as a suicide itself.
Being alone really sucks. You don’t have someone to talk to about your problems and the one who’ll beside you when you are crying a river of emotions.
These past days, I had read so many tweets about depression. Yeah, most of them they are teenagers. And I am also one of them blurting about my dramas in life if I don’t have someone available to talk to.
Some people says, depression of a child always comes first from their family. It may be from a broken families, loneliness, comparison from their siblings,financials, quarrels inside their home,or pressures put into their child.
I am writing this because no one listens.
Somebody might not be reading this in view of the fact that I put a new boring and not so entertaining blog because I am about to tell my small complaints in life. Sigh.
I really regret some things I did and I will do in my life. It is just that I am not really afraid of trying but of people who will see my actions—obviously they have eyes, not only that but I am certainly over thinking of how will they judge every move I make especially my appearance. I am not really born with great features and figures. I am a nerd, yeah. And a not-so-slim but not-so-fat also.
Every time I will report or recite in class, sooner or later I will stutter and having mental blank from what I am going to say. I am really embarrassed in myself for having an unpleasant appearance for those who are there– especially going to stages. I have the confidence but I lack some of it because I down myself for reminding always that I am not really worth trying;for me to be on that stage, on that role, on that being the best, on that being a leader, and on that being me without doubts on what kind of face I’ll make and the body figure I have that I embarrassed with.
I really, really want to join some contests and show what I’ve really got. I want to explore and challenge many things too but because of the wall I am facing, I cannot go further more. Sigh..